Date: Saturday, September 7, 2013
“A man is known by the company he keeps,” says an old adage I’m compelled to rephrase. Shouldn’t, then, a mass of celebrants be judged by the trash it leaves behind? I am curious to know what the recent Martin Luther King march and subsequent cleanup cost the taxpayers.”
This story has been on our radar for some time now, Bobby. The situation is as yet unresolved, and hard figures are to date undetermined. According to FEMA, the dispatch units could not be deployed immediately due to the Obama Administration’s strict adherence to the EPA’s insistence that a Level II Environmental Site Assessment first be conducted. This red-tape nightmare will certainly spark inquiries from the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and, reportedly, may also be the catalyst necessary to overhaul (or completely remove) these agencies. In an “unrelated” story, a Texas Congressman states, “We have the votes to impeach him”.
In the wake of this scandal, the Obama Administration has issued a hurried statement: “We believe the country should be free of litter and debris, and we are considering all of our options to combat this epidemic.” The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has refused comment. On some right-wing blogs, speculation is rampant that the Obama Administration will require new regulations concerning trash receptacles and recycling bins. “We may see early implementation of these standards in places like Toad Suck” said one unidentified source.
We have no word yet from Mayflower, Arkansas, on these developments. Not all trash (and not all celebrants) are created equal.